Trump Sworn Into Office, Promises Greatest Ego Trip Ever

The United States today officially has embarked on the greatest ego trip in the modern historical era.

Donald John Trump — a humble businessman from New York known for his compassionate views on ethnic and religious minorities, great respect for women, deep expertise of foreign policy, and highly-desirable personality traits like emotional maturity, honesty, truth-telling, and rational thinking — has been sworn into the highest office in the land and has become the leader of the free world.

In his highly inspirational and dignified speech, President Trump has promised American people they will witness the greatest ego trip ever in the history of the United States and modern world. He said:

I’ve had a wonderful election and beaten Crooked Hillary by historic numbers — by hugely impressive minus three million votes.

Finally, for the first time in my life, I feel that I’m being treated fairly and given an opportunity I always deserved — to finally prove everyone that I’m the greatest and also to avenge all my enemies and people who insulted me and people who didn’t lend me money when I was recovering from bankruptcies.

I can promise you, folks, that my presidency will be the best ego trip you have ever seen.

I will make you all proud. We will make history.

And if something goes wrong in the next four years, you have to know now that it will be Obama’s fault.

(Image: Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons)