Jeff Sessions To Require All DOJ Employees to Dress in Plain White Robes

Jeff Sessions, Donald Trump’s pick for attorney general, had some hard time during his confirmation hearing in the Senate last week. During the hearing, many people protested his nomination saying that Department of Justice should not be run by someone who harbors racist views and who even previously shown sympathies towards the Ku Klux Klan.

Sessions himself has denied all allegations of racism and said his positive comments about the KKK were in fact sarcastic and that he in fact “abhors” the Klan.

Now Sessions says that if he’s successfully confirmed, his top priority will be to restore the positive image of the Justice Department. Currently, he says, the Obama administration made it look very impure and dirty.

Sessions wants his department to become more pure again and convey a sense of righteousness which has been so much lacking during the Obama years. He says he has many serious ideas, but he has been most focused on improving the image of the Justice Department by changing the formal attire of its employees.

After much consideration, Sessions decided to adopt plain white robes, which will perfectly convey the sense of purity he wants his department to project.

Sessions says he has been wearing this attire on many occasions before and found it very comfortable and psychologically satisfying.

Heads of various agencies operating under the Justice Department will be allowed to wear essentially the same robes only different color, most likely green.

We have obtained the prototype of this new attire and reproduce it here for our readers:

2017-01-18-DOJ-robe

(Images: Gage Skidmore and Library of Congress via Wikimedia Commons)